What to read next as recommended by our therapists - The Power of Showing UP by Daniel J. Siegal and Tina Payne Bryson

book review

Sep 26

The Power of Showing UP by Daniel J. Siegal and Tina Payne Bryson

This book is about parenting and gives a beautiful description of why it is important to show up physically and emotionally as a parent. The authors describe how imperative this is in children starting from day dot, the way you as parent establishes safety and teaches interpersonal connection and how that wires the brain.

The biggest take home for me was around empathy and boundary setting and how these elements, when brought together, assist in establishing safety for children and closeness in relationships – ways of living and connecting that they draw on for the rest of their lives.

In my experience, boundary setting is often considered a punitive harsh line that is drawn, and the child must just accept the boundary no questions asked. In the meantime, they absorb quite a stark impact often without explanation of how come the boundary is being set or voicing an awareness of the emotional impact that the boundary had – so no real behavioural and interpersonal understanding is gained other than “toe the line”.

In the book, the authors give some practical guidance in bringing empathy and assertiveness together – that winning combo brings closeness and connection rather than rebellion and disconnection.

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